（新加坡眼：全球熱播50度灰，咱來盤點一下新加坡的50度“衰(sui)”！一起來說說你都遭遇過那些“衰(sui)”？）
50-shades-of-suay-singapore-version
新加坡的50度“衰(sui)”
1) Park beside the road for 5minutes to go pee at coffeeshop
在路邊停車五分鍾直奔咖啡店只因爲要去廁所方便
2) Tear parking coupon inthe morning
Tear “PM”
大清早在停車場撕停車固本，TMD撕了張下午的
3) Drive through ERP
Forget to insert cashcard
開車經過電子收費口，才發現臥槽忘記插現金卡（要交罰款）
4) At traffic light see ERP ahead is off
When approaching ERP suddenly turn on
對面路口的電子收費口顯示還未進入收費時段，我一開到收費口就變成開始收費
5) Make one wrong turn inCBD
Kena 3 ERPs in a row
不小心開車轉進了市中心地段，要過三個收費口才能出來
6) Send car for car wash
Thunderstorm
剛剛洗過車就下大雨
7) Rush to toilet pangsai
No toilet paper
沖進廁所猛然發現裏面沒有紙
8) Pangsai halfway
Toilet bowl censor doesn’t detect you, flushuntil your backside wet wet
廁所上到一半馬桶自動開始沖水也是醉了
9) Pangsai halfway
Toilet motion-censor light doesn’t detect anymovements, switches off the light, finish the 2nd half of my pangsai indarkness
坐在馬桶很久不動馬桶檢測不到有人還在，貼心的給我沖了屁股
10) Puts handphone in mypocket
Drops into toilet bowl
小心的把手機放在褲兜裏，還是尼瑪滑進了馬桶
11) Takes a short nap on MRT
Ended up at Joo Koon
太累了本想在地跌小睡一下，想來一看尼瑪都到Joo Koon了
12) Boards bus
Just sit on the only seat then antie stands by me
上車還有最後一個位，高高興興坐下來結果就來了個安嫡站旁邊
13) Reach bus stop
2 of your buses just left, next bus in 30minutes
風風火火沖到巴士站卻只吃到了汽車尾氣，下一班車一查半小時
14) About to board bus
Realize wallet is at home
上了公交剛要打卡發現錢包落在家裏了
15) Boards bus
Forget to bring Ezlink, no coins in wallet,only got $10 note. Most expensive bus ride ever.
上了公交發現沒帶公交卡又沒有零錢，只有10塊的紙幣。新加坡最貴公交車費記錄了吧
16) Late for school take bus
Kena red lights all the way
上學遲到了還被卡在公交車上，而且一路尼瑪都是紅燈
17) Alight from bus
Forget to tap Ezlink
下公交沒打卡T_T
18) Want to fart silently inMRT
Loud sound came out, followed by something warmand wet
在地鐵上想偷偷放個屁，結果巨響而且還感到一個潮濕的暖意，我掩面
19) Morning assembly singMajulah Singapura halfway
Kena bird shit on head. Odds: 1 in 1000students
By Chen YingJun
大早上全校操場上一起唱國歌，不幸被鳥屎砸在頭上，全校一千人……
20) Falls asleep in class
Discipline master walks past classroom, kenadetention
上課不小心睡著，教導主任路過教室發現了我，熱情的請我“喝茶”了
21) Finish homework
Forget to bring bring to school
By Chi Wing Lah
熬了一整晚終于做完了作業，早上太匆忙結果忘記帶去學校
22) Day dreaming about thepretty girl in the next class
Kena called by teacher to repeat what she said
課上突然開小差想起了隔壁班美女，老師就點名叫我複述她剛才講的內容~%&*
23) Passes love letter togirl you like in class
Kena confiscated by teacher, made to read outthe letter in front of the whole class
By Gooners Mi Bear
課上傳情書給妹子，結果情書被老師沒收了還被罰當衆朗讀（矮油不好意思）。
24) Fringe slightly longafter holidays
Kena caught by discipline master go barber,came back to class with no fringe at all and became the class joke of the week
By Yasmeen Eu
假期回來留海稍微長了那麽一點兒，就被教導主任拉去理發店剪成了半禿
25) Forget to bring rulerduring math exams
No choice use Ezlink to draw lines
數學考場上發現忘帶了尺子沒法畫直線，于是哥默默拿出了交通卡
26) Chinese compo exam
Open bag and realize I brought Englishdictionary
好好的華文作文考試我特麽打開書包一看帶的是英文字典
27) Looks at koi fishes inthe school pond
Lost my balance and fell into it
在學校池塘邊看金魚（不是你們想的那樣）太入神結果掉了進去
28) Tries to take photo ofpretty girl in school
Flash comes on
想偷拍學校裏的美女結果閃光燈出賣了我
29) Took train to work thismorning
Realize that pants never zip, only at lunchtime
大早急急忙忙坐地鐵去上班，一直忙到午飯時間在發現褲門拉鏈沒拉
30) Gives up seat to apregnant lady on the train
She gave me a death stare and says she is notpregnant
地鐵上給孕婦讓座，結果在人家在殺人的目光下和我平靜的說沒有懷孕，謝我全家
31) Bring umbrella, neverrain
Never bring umbrella, rains
帶傘了從不下雨，一不帶傘准挨澆
32) Walking home after arainy night
Hear crushing sound, look down, stepped on asnail
雨後的夜晚忙著回家，腳下突然咔嚓一聲脆響，踩了一只蝸牛
33) Late for work, no timeto take bus so take taxi
PIE massive jam, taxi fare $50
加班到吐血想打車回家快睡覺，結果被堵在路上花了50塊車費
34) Late for meeting
Lift stops at every floor. Client office is on34th floor
開會遲到了啊！！！電梯每層都停啊！！！會議室在34樓啊啊啊！！！！！！
35) Brought laptop home towork for the weekend
Monday morning reach office, realize laptopcharger at home
周末把電腦拿回家苦逼加班，周一到了辦公室發現電腦充電器落家裏了
36) Spent whole morningworking on report
Computer crash, and you forgot to enableauto-save
By Tan Junwei
忙了一大早寫了個報告，電腦突然死機我沒有設置自動保存@_@
37) Surfing Facebook inoffice and boss walks past
Alt-tab, ASOS website appears
上班刷facebook發現老板路過，趕緊Alt+tab結果發現換成了購物網頁。（不知你還在那裏工作麽？）
38) Bitch about boss withyour colleague in the lift
Boss was standing behind you
在電梯裏和同事吐槽老板，沒發現人家就在人群後面……（我不是故意的）
39) Reaches office early
Stares at the closed office door, it’s a publicholiday
起個大早去公司，尼瑪發現門都沒開，原來是公共假期（還我被窩兒）
40) Dress nicely spray nicecologne for job interview
Steps on dog shit
衣著光鮮的去參加面試，出門就踩了狗屎（莫非要有狗屎運了？）
41) Goes Cineleisure
Bumps into Steven Lim with his red hair,sleeveless top and scarf
去烏節路看電影，偶遇了一頭紅色頭發，身穿無袖襯衫系圍巾的Steven Lim（類似于中國的後舍男孩的人物）
42) Queue 30 minutes forPunggol Nasi Lemak
Reach your turn no more chicken wing
排隊30分鍾爲了吃一次榜鵝椰漿飯，到了我這裏雞翅正好被搶完
43) Bring portable phonecharger
Forget to bring phone cable
出門怕沒電帶著移動電源，結果忘帶了充電線
44) Buy wrong 4D number
The one you wanted to buy come out third prize
買4D買錯了號，本來想買的號碼結果中了三等獎
45) Every week buy samenumber for 4D never strike
One week never buy come out first prize
每星期彩票都買同一個號就是不中，我一個星期不買這號就中獎
46) Play mahjong forget togame
Next round throw for someone else to game
打麻將忘了胡牌，下一輪就點了別人的炮
47) Kena guard duty
On public holiday
好好的公共假期，偏偏輪到我加班
48) Wanna chao geng reportsick in NS for diarrhea
Kena poke backside by MO
NS時候本來想騙病假就說拉肚子，結果被醫生爆菊
49) Gives a girl you likeone stalk of rose for Valentine’s Day
Competitor gave her a 99-roses bouquet
情人節鼓起勇氣給女神送了朵玫瑰，結果有個小子送了99朵……
50) Confesses to a girl onValentine’s Day
She says she treat you more like a bro…
情人節和心愛的女生告白，收到好哥們卡一張
So if you’ve experiencedmany of these, you can say truly say that you’ve kena “Fifty Shades OfSuay”…
以上就是新加坡的50度“衰”，如果你也有過，不要擔心。記得還會有下次哦。
-英文來源于SGAG，新加坡眼翻譯整理-