… 切 入 正 題 …
01
問世上不會遊泳的動物是？
Which mammals can not swim?
媳婦和媽
Your wife and your mother.
02
如果被車撞飛10米遠，爬起來之後說什麽最帥？
What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?
下一輛
Next Please!
03
爲什麽前任還會一直關注我呢？
What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?
知道你過得不好我也就放心了
Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.
04
披薩切成8塊好，還是切成12塊好？
Should I slice the pizza into 8 pieces or 12 pieces?
8塊好。12塊吃不下。
8 is good. 12 is too much for my stomach.
05
爲什麽在洗完澡之後有些人會覺得自己變漂亮了？
Do you feel like you looks better after shower
腦子進水了
The brain has water damage.
06
爲什麽有的男生追女生追到一半不追了？
Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?
你倒是給個進度條啊
Why don’t you display a progress bar?
07
被人追了怎麽拒絕？
How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?
接地卸妝
Remove your makeup, right now, right there.
08
很高興爲你服務
I’m glad to be at your service.
你高興得太早了
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch
09
地球外面那一層叫什麽？
How do you call the outside layer of Earth?
香飄飄奶茶
Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.
10
怎麽說服老婆不拍婚紗照？
How to persuade my wife do not take wedding photographs?
你一個道具有什麽資格好叽叽歪歪的？
配合好就是了
You have no right for any comments, You are just a stage item, cooperate with her.
11
爲什麽女生有體香，而男生沒有？
Why do women give out sweet scent but men don’t?
化妝品腌入味了
The makeup is fermenting.
12
你臨死前的遺言是什麽？
What would you say before you die?
能不能換個醫生試試？
我覺得我還能活……
Can we try another doctor?
I think I can still be worked on…
13
妹子還書的時候夾了一張面巾紙什麽意思？
What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?
說明你對人家有意思
This means you are paying extra attention to her.
14
打雷的時候關窗戶有用嗎？
Does it work to close the window when it’s thundering outside?
沒用的，我試過了
關了窗雷一樣在打
No, it won’t. I’ve tried.
It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.
15
如何追求學醫的女生？
How to pursue a girl whose majoring in medicine?
你好，我有病
Hi, I’m sick.
16
怎樣含蓄地表達「我已經被收買了」
How can I subtly suggest that I’ve been compromised?
我說句公道話……
Let me say this impartially…
17
如何一個月減肥40斤？
How can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?
截肢
Amputation.
18
哪件事，讓你對自己的無知感到震驚？
What is the experience in which you got shocked by your own ignorance?
小時候寫作文要寫筆名
我寫了“中華繪圖鉛筆”
when I was young,
we were required to write down our pseudonym.
And I wrote down my pen’s brand.
19
爲什麽打群架的時候普遍會脫掉上衣？
Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?
假如脫掉褲子的話
總覺得有哪裏不對，氣氛怪怪的
Because it would be weird to take off your pants.
20
中國哪裏的姑娘最漂亮？
Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?
朋友圈
WeChat Moments
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